Harvard Career Services
Yoga is great. It helps you relax, get focused, become strong and flexible. However it should not be taken lightly. Like any excersise it takes time to build up strength, insurance and flexibility needed for certain poses and even experienced practitioners need to consider this when they haven't practiced for awhile. Not listening to your body and trying to force something to happen will usually lead to injury. Read more here: When yoga harms
Thursday, July 17, 2008
career advice and the dangers of yoga
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
The space between the beats
The truth is that there is lots of time in the day. It just so happens that I spend most of it thinking about doing things instead of actually doing them. So it often happens that at the end of the day I look back and think "I haven't done anything!" although my head is spinning with the minute details and delicate nuances of the seemingly immense tasks that lay before me, in need of completion. When I play the cello along with the metronome, at first, it seems that the beats come too fast, my fingers struggle to keep up and my mind can only focus on trying to hit the right notes; dynamics and other musical attributes are ignored. However, as my fingers gain familiarity with the melody, the mind focuses less on the notes and starts to think about the other stuff that is going on, and then I notice that there actually is a lot of space between the beats, enough time to focus on the sound that I'm making and to remember instructions my teacher has given me "louder here, softer here, away from the finger board, faster bow, less pressure". I suddenly remember that I'm playing music, I relax and try to see the whole piece as it flows from my bow. I focus less on each note, but instead on whole phrases; I see the piece as a whole and visualize where it is heading. I see the big picture, in other words, and that helps me to keep focused and to keep going, even if I make a mistake (or a few) along the way.I'm starting to realize that in research (perhaps any project) the same principle applies. I tend to focus on small details of experiments: anticipating things that might go wrong, thinking about the appropriate controls and whether I have access to all the right materials and equipment... soon I am overwhelmed and intimidated by the experiments I'm planning. For this reason, often my experiments don't make it out of the planning stage; I hesitate to try experiments for fear that they will not work for some reason I haven't anticipated. I lose sight of the overall goal, which is really just to try things and see what happens, and my research comes to a grinding halt. I feel lost and it takes me awhile (and usually involves some sort of external stimulus) before I can start gaining momentum again. Its frustrating, because I know I do this, but I can't help it because thinking seems like a practical thing to do, and it feels so comfortable and familiar that it isn't long before I get lost it it again. The solution seems simple: less thinking, more doing. But much like losing weight or quitting a bad habit it is much easier said than done. When I've been working on a project that hasn't been working for several years, it is very difficult to keep seeing the big picture. I feel that the beats are racing past me faster than I can count and I'm struggling just to hit any note, to make any progress, to accomplish any small thing. What I need is to instill more discipline in my daily life, one that demands constant productive activity and generates enough momentum that the occasional thinking spell will only slow me down, not totally immobilize me. How do I achieve such discipline? I guess I'll go think about that...
Monday, May 5, 2008
Why put it off when you can do it now?
Really, why? What is stopping you? I am slowly discovering that I am a closet perfectionist and that I use that as an excuse for not to getting things done. "I'll do it later when I have more time, and can do it properly" - I say to myself. But "later" just brings more stuff that needs to be done and the things that need to be done get piled up in the inbox, on to-do lists, and as nagging reminders inside my head. The paradox is that actually doing something and eliminating it from the to-do list feels really good, so why don't I do it more often? I'm not sure. Tonight I finished going through my inbox and creating a filing system, which has been on my mind for over four months. As a side note - label makers make filing so much more fun . I also cleaned the fish tank after two months of thinking about it. The water was burning my hand as I was suctioning it off; I have no idea how Jock and Smitty are still alive. Next on the agenda? Finish phd. It might require a bit more time than cleaning the fish tank, but it is definitely going to happen within the next year. I've set a goal to defend before my 28th birthday. It will be my present to myself; hopefully that is motivation enough. The more I think about my future and what career I want, the more I think that a life as a bench scientist or in academia is not for me. I love editing - I want to be an editor. It feels good to say that to myself. Now I just have to figure out a way to make it happen...
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
A thought and a memory
Today is Lenin's birthday. Growing up in Russia (then USSR) Lenin's birthday was the day everyone gathered outside to clean up the neighborhood: picked up trash, painted benches and planted flowers. To be more accurate this didn't always happen exactly on Lenin's birthday, but on a Saturday close to it, and was called Subbotnik. I always liked this day because I liked seeing people come together and do something for mutual benefit. I had no idea then, that elsewhere this day was called Earth day and in celebration of which people did very similar things. Nowadays Lenin's birthday is no longer celebrated, but luckily Earth day related activities that raise awareness about environmental issues and ways to resolve them, are becoming more popular on an international level.
Learn more about Subbotnik
And Earth Day
Saturday, April 19, 2008
A Beginner Blogger's dilemma
I started a blog for several reasons. Mainly because I get many ideas about interesting topics that I want to write about/record/reflect upon and I felt ready to move out of the private confines of a diary/my HD into the public forum of the internet. However, I started this blog almost three weeks ago and I've only made one post. Meanwhile the list of blog ideas keeps piling up in a folder I carry with me to and from work and add to on an almost daily basis. What then, is the obstacle that prevents the materialization of my ideas on the world wide web? It is what I imagine to be the beginner blogger's dilemma: the desire to publish perfectly polished posts and and lack the time to get them past draft stage. I have ideas in roughly written paragraphs, but not very much time to revise and edit them to perfection prior to public exposure. And so they sit in my folder and on my HD waiting for the day when I'll have more time to shape them up. However I get the feeling that if I keep waiting for perfection, these posts will never see the light, and this blog will get stuck in one-entry-maybe-once-a-month mode. Which is counterproductive to say the least. And so I've decided today that I'm going to post my ideas as they come, maybe even daily, in whatever form they happen to be in.This week I have been thinking a lot about a career in editing. I love editing, more than writing even. So why am I struggling through my 6th year of grad school instead of working? Because I never seriously considered making a career as an editor. I might complain about grad school sometimes, but I am glad that I embarked on this path because although I have no publications to my name I feel like I figured out who I was during my time in grad school, and maybe that is more important. Especially since I don't think I will pursue basic research as a career upon completion of my PHD. And so Editing! How does one get a job as an editor, what should I be doing in the meantime to gain relevant experience? Stay tuned for exciting developments as I explore this new path towards my future...
Sunday, April 6, 2008
What is the measure of fluency in a foreign language?
When I moved with my family to the US at the age of 10 I did not speak English. It would be inaccurate to say that I didn't know English because I studied it for almost two years in school in Russia and knew some words and expressions. However this was the first time I had to speak English with native speakers. Having to live in South Carolina added an another challenge, though I was not aware of it at the time.
I remember asking my dad to translate songs that were playing on the radio in the car. Everytime he would listen for a few seconds and then answer - its about love. I thought it was strange that all songs would be about the same thing and decided that he was just being lazy and didn't want to explain what they were really about. So it became my goal to understand the words in songs.
My sister and I would record songs from cartoons and Disney movies by holding a tape player set to record up to the TV speaker and then listen to these songs repeatedly to figure out the words. Of course we wanted to be able to sing along, and we did, with the words we thought be heard. Nowadays I always find it amusing when I hear some of these songs and realize that we were way off in some parts, although the words we used did make sense in the context of the song. It was a couple of years before I could understand the songs on the radio.
For a long time I considered that fluency in a language is reached when words in songs could be freely understood. Why am I rambling about this? Because right now I am learning Japanese. Well, I have only just begun, and I am wondering how long it will take me to become fluent. I became interested in the language after getting somewhat addicted to anime. I love listening to Japanese speech; it sounds so lovely and resonant.
"Learning a foreign language as an adult is difficult." People say this to me all the time. However I have enough arrogance, or self-confidence in my brain power, not to get discouraged. Even when I am faced with the overwhelming reality of the amount of information that needs to be assimilated in order to achieve any kind of respectable fluency of speech and proficiency in reading/writing. I look forward to the day when I can sing along to the anime opening and closing theme songs!
Curious about anime? Check out animeviewer.net!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
~It starts with a narrative...~
On this day, seventeen years ago my mom, sister, brother and I traveled from Moscow, Russia to join my father, already living in the US. I was almost ten. I remember being excited to see a new foreign land, especially one which received so much negative propaganda in Russia, and to see my father again, after a two year separation. I was also apprehensive about both because I wasn't sure what to expect.
When I tell people that I've lived in the US for seventeen years, they usually say "Oh, you grew up here, you probably don't remember much of Russia" That's not true. As far as I'm concerned a lot of my "growing up" happened in Russia, and I remember many things. Our trip over, although patchy and somewhat faded is still firmly imprinted in my mind.
I remember getting up at two in the morning to get to the airport, sleepily waiting for hours in a crowded waiting area, waiting in the long customs line with anxious anticipation, watching as the customs officer told my mom to unpack our suitcase for inspection, finally getting on the plane (my first time). The plane seemed so huge with two isles and many, many seats, the fight was long and my mother got upset when my brother (three and a half at the time) threw up on his new clothes. I remember finally getting to NY, not understanding what people were saying to us, having the oranges we got on the plane get taken away in customs. Worrying that I wouldn't recognize my father, and the relief when I did; surprise at how different yet familiar he looked. Traveling through NYC by subway, by taxi, looking out the taxi window and being in awe of the fact that stores were filled with goods; a sharp contrast to the barren wasteland found at that time in russian stores. We met up with my dad's friend who took us to his house for the night. Both he and his wive were very kind, but I remember my dad having to translate what they said to us. They gave my brother a plastic dinosaur, which I immediately wanted. I tried for years afterward to get it from him, he finally gave it to me a few years back, I still have it somewhere at my parents house. In the morning they fed us breakfast. I don't remember everything, but I remember that there was bacon. It was the first time I ate such food, I remember liking the salty crunchy taste. I remember the long drive to South Carolina.
I love to write. There are thoughts twirling around my head always and setting them down on paper lessens the chaos inside my head. Sometimes it is even interesting to read these thoughts afterwards, as words flow out in surprising combinations. It is particularly satisfying when subsequent re-reading makes me think "Wow, I wrote that?" Today I can't seem to get started with work. My mind drifts to the past, recounting the journey I made to get to where I am today and wondering how things will progress in the future. Recent events in my life made me remember my love for writing. Increasingly, I feel dissatisfied with the ambiguity that is inherent in scientific research. I can't even get excited about the results of my own experiments. I keep thinking that the life of a bench scientist is not for me. My ideal career would be in scientific editing, but what is comes down to is that I've spent many years doing research and not much time writing in any kind of organized way. I need to do something now. Write more, maybe get published. I need to know that I can write something that other people want to read and that they can trust me to edit their work. Now is the time to stop thinking (something I do way too much of) and start doing. This blog is the first step in an attempt to turn my passion into something tangible and present it to the world. Today, 17 years later, another journey begins.
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